Hypin’ Up ‘Transformers: War for Cybertron’ with Omar Holmon of Black Nerd Problems

Transformers is one of the most recognized franchises of all time. All time! I got a friend that watched the movie so much back in 1985 the tape broke. Optimus Prime, the Autobots, Megatron, and the Decepticons transcend time. We’ve seen these two sides beef every and anywhere in the universe … or so we thought.


Man, Netflix is bringing a new Transformers trilogy series to the cyber streets called Transformers: War For Cybertron with the first season, Siege, dropping this month. Judging by the trailer, you ain’t ever seen Optimus and dem scrapping like this. Cybertron’s looking like the Decepticons went through this planet on a run. Cybertron lookin’ like the Last of Us Part 2 as if it doesn’t get any bleaker, but oh, it does, audience members. The Autobots and Decepticons are at it again, but this time it looks like the Decepticons are beating the brake fluid outta them Autobots. Optimus Prime out here saying he’s fighting for the day Autobots ain’t gotta fight no more. He’s fighting for freedom. 

Then we see the Volkswagen Beetle MVP Bumblebee telling Optimus, “No. You fightin’ to win and that’s what’s goin’ get you jack-knifed and dead on the I-95 Highway.” Things ain’t looking good for the Autobots. From the sound and look of it, the Decepticons may be pushing them to the brink of extinction. This ain’t some small skirmish between two sides anymore. This is a legit, straight-up war and the Autobots out here getting shut out. No points on the scoreboard. Cybertron lookin’ like when Nobody Beats the Wiz got shut down. Cybertron lookin’ like Sam Goody when it was on its last legs. It’s game over. Plus, Megatron’s trying to get the Allspark for total domination too? 

Yo, why Megatron ALWAYS doing the most? Always! Megatron is straight-up “the l’il dictator that could” in every incarnation. You ain’t got no other hobbies aside from fucking with the Autobots? You ain’t ever tried to have peace talks with’em, a “come to robot Jesus” moment? Damn man. Megatron Thee Metal Stallion stay being a problem, and guess who is fed the hell up about it? Optimus.

Man, Optimus in this trailer looking like he got hit by a Mac truck. How crap are things when you a semi and you lookin’ like you got sideswiped by a semi? Optimus damn near got robot rust as a 5 o’clock shadow on his face. Big mad because Cybertron done turned into Mad Max. I be feeling bad for Optimus. All mans wants to do is live his days out doing hood lowrider shit with his squad but Megatron out here messing things up for everyone, yet again. Listen, Optimus gotta kill Megatron this time around. To tell y’all the truth, it’s looking like he really considering it too. The Optimus Prime in this series is OVER Megatron and his diss tracks. Optimus is ready to ride on any and every Decepticon. 

I thought 2020 here on Earth was bad; 2020 on Cybertron looking like the final battle of Avengers: Endgame. Shit is really wild on Cybertron for real y’all. Cybertron makes Gotham City look like the Bahamas. Cybertron got Covid-19 Florida looking like a spa. Cybertron legit lookin’ like someone got Bill Withers on repeat singin’ “Ain’t No Sunshine.” Cybertron lookin’ like it’s goin’ through Reaganomics man.  Eeesh, I hate it had to be them. Things are much, much worse than they have ever been before.

 

I dunno which Autobots will make it to see parts two and three of the trilogy. Transformers: War for Cybertron: Siege ain’t pulling any punches here. The Decepticons are doing what the Sith shoulda did for the Jedi. We’ll see if they drop the lead as well. Check it out when it debuts on July 30th, and let’s see who makes it out alive.

If you haven’t already, install Wiretap for Chrome and comment along with Omar on Transformers: War for Cybertron beginning July 30, 2020.

Omar Holmon

Omar Holmon is a prolific poet, co-founder of Black Nerd Problems, and Wiretap user.

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